Happy Times

Christmas with friends and collaborators, Chieh-Hua and Kuang-Ying, who in many different ways have supported me in doing this production. I'm so grateful for those who believe in this work and fuel the journey with their joy, compassion and encouragement. The music for the group piece (composed by Kuang-Ying) is finished ahead of the choreography. I wish I had more time to rehearse this piece, but we will at least have completed choreography by the exam date. A structure is forming, sometimes you can't rush the process even if you want to and for good choreography 'Crafting takes time'(Chieh-Hua's words of wisdom. Smiles). I keep learning, every single day, how to do life and how to be an artist. I'm glad for the experience I'm gaining about producing a work (no better teacher than life!), the reality of the art industry requires the constant need of a backup plan. Sometimes collaborations don't work out as well as mine did with Kuang-Ying, and so I want to cherish a friendship and partnership that's been built. I'm working on an 'SOS' basis with a lighting designer I know in India, who will act as a consultant and help me develop a lighting plan for my exam( yes the one in about two weeks time), because with my second lighting collaborator in Taipei there was break in communication. It is sad, but I get the privilege of another online overseas design process. There's a time crunch, but I believe it will work out, and add a richness of layers to the artistic aesthetic as a whole. For things to come and things that will be I fix my gaze steadily on the goal to be achieved, it is within reach and we will get there. In the overall picture, things are getting better, so I will think of and celebrate the 'Happy Times'.

my quest...near the end

Blogging. Because this I can do well. Less than a month to the exam showing. I am pushing past so many difficulties. And in my spirit I am not tired one bit. I just keep going. It is a key issue that this is a team effort and ultimately the result will depend on how well we can work as a team, it's the true test not just my creativity and skill as a choreographer. What are my thoughts at this point of the journey. I am so glad for the distance traveled. Smiles. I remember the first time meeting with my adviser Ming with a folded piece of paper with a highly philosophical outline for what this dance concert should be, and at our next meeting I entered his office with seven big canvases. Big ideas a very broad starting place ...the question, how do you narrow it to one definite point. From vague and abstract and things up in the air...from being so lost and clueless of how to achieve the task before me..."finding" took place...it's been a quest, a long tedious hard difficult quest...but when you have secrets revealed, it is so worthwhile...I can't explain it except to say deep in my heart something resonates inside with the world outside and time stands still for a moment, an aching peace to dwell in...I can still go deeper into what I've found...it's exhilarating as an artistic experience...even though it's very hard. Knowledge, it is so powerful. I want to know more. I'm still so hungry to learn.

Sketches with Dumile

The final designs for our costume collaboration are done and the dresses will ready in a couple of weeks. I am grateful for moving forward step by step.

New Dancers...

Six weeks to the showing, we are finding a strong footing to go ahead firmly...

I had an interesting five weeks of searching and auditioning, and then casting...but I think we have settled all that needs to be decided on...from now on we focus on moving towards our goal...a destination of excellence, no matter what it takes.

I speak from the heart because this project means alot to me and alot to several people who have invested their time, efforts and means to make this worthwhile...I am thankful, so thankful for all of the energies that pool together to bring a creation into existence.

I am still learning and growing as the journey accelerates the process of things being done...and I have many decisions to make as a choreographer and producer...but I am glad for an opportunity to experience all of this...nothing teaches you as well as life itself.

I look forward to a good pre-production showing in January.

Creating with Kuang-Ying

This is a file photograph of my new music composer for this project, Kuang-Ying Chuang. Working with her is such a joy and I think we are both quite adventurous as artists. The happy connection with Kuang-Ying was made over the summer through a dear friend Chieh-Hua (Jeff) Hsieh, choreographer and artistic director of Anarchy Dance Theatre. We are halfway through our creative process for the group piece and I'm excited for the possibilities that the new cast of dancers will bring to the development of our work. This collaboration is truly a dream come true, and Kuang-Ying and I are dreaming of future projects and travels together. I love the friendships that are being built throughout this production journey. I'm so glad for the many people encounters and interactions. Somehow I feel nothing is by accident and there will be strings that tie and lead us to other things.

Palace of Dreams

Moving forward...The short space of time to breathe and think is great. It helps me get an overall perspective of the destination and goals of this project. Somehow it is much more than completing a degree. The project has gained a value and purpose in itself and this production will carry the weight of many hours of research, deep thinking,improvising, constructing,deconstructing,re-structuring and much more. I have gained tremendously in my learning through this process not just by creating works of art, but through the wide interaction of people I have partnered with to make this happen. And the roots of this work go even deeper, many years ago to the time when I first was accepted as a student at TNUA. It's been a long journey across continents and time zones,cultures and traditions,principles and beliefs, learning and growing, living and being. It wasn't always easy, but it was always purposeful. And my life is forever changed. I love walking through the doors of impossibility and making a way...it will be an inheritance for those who come after me. It's important to know we do not live life for ourselves, but how we choose to live today will be the history that shapes lives for generations after. Let's leave behind a beautiful palace for the fulfillment of dreams.

Building...A Time for New Things

This week was another crux in my journey...I think if all of what has happened since I began working on this project in Taiwan last summer, was mapped into a dance, it would be quite the interesting landscape of structure and choreography. Smiles. The change pedal was pushed again.

The past weeks have been very difficult  for me and my dancers, because their busy schedules have actually made a huge impact on their time availability and ability to commit to this dance project whole-heartedly.

So here's where we make brave decisions and step out in faith. It feels like I'm walking on water.

I believe new dancers will be found, and with passion and energy will perform these dances they way they should be danced.

I think of buildings now...I have been dreaming of buildings...somehow without the right foundation you can't build things right. The core of your heart, your being, if not present, makes what you do what you create empty and for me at least that is meaningless.

So I will believe in miracles and for a new team to emerge even though the hour is late.

I am so glad I am still bursting with enthusiasm to keep doing this project...and I will...till we reach out journeys end. Smiles to your day.

"Imagining...Thinking...Feeling"

Remembering the material~

Seven months later, the dancers for the group piece meet in studio seven once again. Smiles, I love this journey.

The bright side...

This project has been in quite the strange balance of having to overcome many challenges and wondering why something that on paper looks so simple, it's black and white, had so many shades of grey to see it realized...and so the other side, which I'm a little surprised to acknowledge is actually I love the challenges and I love to find the way out...this isn't to do only with choreography as you might know from my previous blog posts, it includes all the practical aspects and life situations that surround a creation and production process...It's exciting and so strange, truth be told I thrive on challenge...isn't that just crazy...I am just wired this way...So now I rejoice, I have the chance to face difficulties with the joy of an inquisitive mind searching for answers, doors are locked, but I'm pretty sure I can find a key to open them. It is bliss when you have the right perspective and flip problems to be opportunities for new creative adventures. I'm so excited as every day is one day nearer to seeing this on stage, alive. My dancer asked me, when is the premiere...yes, we will have a premiere and more shows after that... Till then, we journey further....filled with joy.

Along the way

Staying in the game

There are crazy solutions for crazy situations, and I'm glad that creativity is not limited to just the studio, but being 'creatives' we get to do life that way. I'm pulling on the strengths I know people have to be the very best they can for a performance that really is only happening because of miracles occurring everyday. You learn to forgive and forget very quickly, when you are drawn forward by a higher prize...something that is so much bigger that you just can't quit and walk away. I am committed to doing this no matter what comes in the way of opposition. I am committed to seeing this through. 

Yesterday was a deep moment of decisions and choosing, a turning point...and I didn't know what would be the outcome. I'm so glad it was good, and everyone who was doubtful and questioning, decided to re-commit to this project-to find that special way, in which seemingly impossible things became possible. The path is lit especially bright, in golden light, a thin trail of fire...if you can see it, it's very clear, but you need to see, you need to know with the eyes of your heart there is a way to pursue....that there is something of value, at the end of the road.  It feels like my dancers grew up overnight, when they decided to be professional in their approach to working on this project and beat the tough schedules at school, to make time for rehearsing for this performance.

I am honored. Thank you...Thank you for running this race with me...we will make it to our journey's end and it will be beautiful...secret treasures and memories to cherish fill the way, and around the next bend you will have the most gorgeous view....

We're staying in the game.

Hope

Living in the now of what you want can be so difficult sometimes...but despite more challenges I have Hope. Being the Choreographer and Producer for this project is a fine and tricky balance. All with limited resources of time, personnel and finances. It feels like a mammoth task. Not discounting the overtime on my brain to  manage with English and Chinese. It's going to be a crazy season, but in my heart I will carry peace. Our team of artists has more change, with me being in need of a new lighting designer, stage manager and a videographer. And there are other positions to be filled as well, as the program and brochure require translators and editors...and not to forget I will have to have some volunteers backstage for small but very important tasks like arranging lunchboxes and doing announcements or ushering guests. Commitment. Building a good team seems crucial to the success of this production. I wish for smooth sailing though it stills seems quite unlikely. But in the rigourous curves of the mountain top, perhaps we find higher perspectives, and forever are transformed to be braver than we thought we are...it's September now...we begin, our final season...Love and grace and a double portion of patience to each of us...we're going to finish well.

Summertime...

It's been a blissful and busy swirl of many things. After the dance conference in July I had one week of intensive rehearsal with my trio dancers. It was a time of trying new things and opening ourselves up to new ways of translating ideas, thoughts, feelings, presence and sensation through the body...the bag of intangibles. We also started work on a new opening phrase and developed some new material drawing on bodyweather techniques I had studied from an Australian dancer/choreographer who had trained in Japan and done a performance workshop with us in India. There are so many different techniques in dance and performance training methods too, I look forward to new opportunities to learn more.

My summer has been interesting in that my release of creativity has been primarily occupied in house decorating...the transformation is wonderous and soothing to my spirit. Creative adventures do need a cozy nest, for inspiration to be warmed and birthed in, and yes during peak time production, I need a sanctuary of rest...so it seems to be preparation for the time to come. I have a new composer working with me now and a new dancer for the group piece(that I haven't as yet met). Yes, that is life, I dont complain about change anymore, I accept it and move on. My composer Kuan-Ying is enthusiastic to work alongside me, all the dances should be ready by 11/1 or at least that's my deadline. The committee showing happens a month later, and final show two months after. My lighting designer is scarce...communication can sometimes be so hard when you are the only one talking. Again, I just take it all one day at a time. I believe this production will be successful, even if it does require a hundred miracles.

In India...New Perspectives

Photography: Vanessa Mirza

Calcutta is such a different city to all the places I have been in the past year. She is special. In great need, but special. I've been here for a week now processing choreographic decisions for the trio while spending quality time with family. India is such an experience after being away for so long, it completely shifts thinking and perspective. I'm keen to see how contemporary dance develops in this city. I had quite random beginnings here...it's always good to know your roots...'never forget where your coming from'. But from there you grow. My family doesn't fully understand why a dance project requires so much time and work, but they support me. Love is so powerful in making dreams come true. I'm back to studio in a few weeks and even before that attending the Daci-WDA conference in Taipei mid-July. It will be a busy swirl of events. I look forward to happy connections and good performances.

Full circle...tying it in

The change factor of this project seems to be a constant. It feels like quicksilver. Right now a lot of things are being loosely held so that at the right time it can be held compactly like magnets. It isn't about choreography but more the project development overall. I am glad to welcome two new advisers that will be contributing to seeing this production set sail...Graeme Collins will be an artistic adviser transitioning from September and continuing after Ming leaves at the end of the year, and Pei-Kuang Chang joins my production team as Technical Adviser. I have interesting connections that link me through this project, it definitely carries a sense of full circle. I fly to India on 6/23 and return on 7/7, family time with many reunions. I feel like the things I learn through the experience of  doing this project and working with such an array of masters in the fields of dance, choreography, research and production, is invaluable. it isn't written in any book and it isn't the knowledge you get taking a class. I am just so grateful for the opportunity of being in such a place at such a time, with the heart and fervor to pursue what I am passionate about. It is rare, and very delicate. I have officially finished my 3rd year at TNUA and will now be a 4th year graduate student. I've definitely come a long long long way since I first stepped into the halls of this dance school. It's strange how things change, it is my only constant. The shaping of an artist can be such beauty, there is a master design,

Deeper Dreams

'Deeper Dreams', Artist: Vanessa Mirza

I painted this last night, in moments of wondering. Our project has picked up pace as change sets things into motion. My choreography adviser/artistic director for this production leaves at the end of the year for a new assignment in the US. Re-positioning. I hope to do a second committee showing at the end of November and then a cozy studio performance during winter break early in February 2013. Somehow it feels perfect, even though it was so not my plan. It feels really right. Small bridges to big, we step into bigger things with clean neatly well done first steps. I'm glad for a momentum that has placed us in right alignment. Perhaps I speak in mysteries. It is my way. The abstract fascinates me. Deeper dreams to each of you. My solo is done and the trio rehearsals begin in July. Shielded and loved I journey on.

Climbing mountains-Preikestolen Norge

I had the most delightful dream trip to Norway enriching me on so many different levels. May has been a busy month and now we are in June. There is more change but it feels we have gathered a momentum. The solo is almost complete as understanding paves the way for breakthroughs. I find myself amazed at the creative possibilities ahead of me. 'Dreams do come true' trails with peace in my heart, as we grow into more of who we are created to be in an everyday individual reality awakening new promises.

Life is about the moments

With my beautiful young soloist, Yagan Taljimarav. 10pm, After Rehearsal.

'Firebirds'

                                                                                                         Artist: Vanessa Mirza

I did this sketch last week, just releasing enthusiasm to dream and create world...Life is so worth living.

What gets you excited...

I feel like I should have written more this month, but I haven't. My apologies. life's had a little of a swirl of things apart and outside of school and choreography life...which are also a part of it though, because you can't really detach that unless you want to pretend and become like a machine or a little not human, which is the nature of some, but not my nature. Forgive the rambling sentences. I have found what I was looking for. Music. it's perfect. I need some skill to interweave this, string ideas, the 'through line' as my teacher refers to it. But the sound of the classical guitar with strings is just gorgeous, outrageously so, and I'm in love with this music, so the dance hopefully will benefit from this heart-felt enthusiasm. It's a crazy dance. Joy and smiles. I will explain. This solo is so unlike anything I've created before, and I have to keep a high level of integrity to this art way so to speak, the things I see hanging in the air that I want to craft and pull together, it's delightful but certainly not easy...it requires much finesse and patience, and I love to do things well...I'm growing in all of this and research in composition helps me infinitely...but there is still much that must be left to the artist as an individual to shape and mold...I keep seeing paper mache...it's sort of messy, but it can be created into beautiful things... Let this dance be a beautiful thing....can't wait to get to the studio!

Treasure Maps...

We've had a week long holiday and tomorrow regular school resumes...I have things chalked out that I would like to do with  the solo...finding the right music to integrate the second half is something I need to decide on still...I have all the movement material I need...now I just need to play with the spacing and timing...I did a bit of research on 'Dynamics' and the key elements seem to be energy, flow, inner attitude and focus. Inner attitude is a huge area of work for my young dancer, but he is doing amazingly well in facing the challenge. Some of the choreographic decisions I made were to cover this area that needs growth, but perhaps it's better to allow him to grow than to make safe decisions that don't expose his vulnerability. He will have at least a year to practice before this piece is performed for an outside audience...so perhaps I can take this risk and with it accept the challenge of coaching him further. Energy, is also tricky as I want a high level of sophistatication in the quality of energy...though the flow is something I can manipulate and play with more...it feels like I'm processing my strengths and weaknesses...focus connects strongly with attitude, but some shifts and some more pointed direction could help my dancer. The timing and working with the music also play a huge role on this and so I have to find the natural sync of variation without it being too forced...there are some predictable ways people work with the music and I don't want to be so easy to read, yet sometimes this could be used to give the audience a sense of comfort and ease...that can be worth exploring. Misery for mystery is not a good swap and that was some feedback I recieved at the last sophomore class showing. The dancers attitude is so crucial, and lighting too...the music has an open for interpretation feeling...so some of it is also the audience reading through their own lens of experience and understanding which I can't control...I don't mind my audience having a completely different to my intention perspective of my art...I just want it to be a platform of encounter(and explaining what I mean by this, I ask)...do audiences necessarily need to understand what they see...perhaps not...impact can affect us in many different ways, sometimes beyond an intellectual awareness and comprehension. It's about two and a half months to the Studio 7 showing...we keep working through the treasure map of clues. I have joy. This will be worth it. Smiles to your day.

Life is but a dream

It's soon going to be April. We are inching forward. This slow climb is a good steady pace, somedays as easy and fun as waltzing, others like the hardest most rugged mountain climb, snow laden cold, and yet there is always a sun that warms as the day gets brighter. Today's post is about 'soft issues'. As an international student doing a choreography production, doing something for an extended period away from family and loved ones is not easy. I miss India often and I miss the ease of family life. I celebrate the friendships I have here and the sense of being loved and cared for is something I cherish. If the environment in school doesn't tangibly carry that it drains your spirit. And so I go back to the whole process of doing things, how you do it is so important, more important than just accomplishing a goal or target...because human beings are human beings, dancers are not inanimate objects that you program to move a certain way...or at least I do not want to create such dances. I've tried to bring a culture of love and honour when I am in the studio, and while for some this is alien and unnecessary, I know deep down it makes people start to act more from the heart, in honesty and with integrity. My last week has been hard, but the solo is progressing, and I'm learning alot. In addition to research and composition study I will also be adding a technique class to my studies this semester. I believe it will feel wonderful to be dancing in class again. Not planning seems to be key right now, just focussing and moving ahead is all I must do. I have to trust my adviser in leading me at the right pace, it means giving up control and just floating...it's something I have to choose to do, because I control how much I trust someone, and so I trust...it's from the heart not the mind...and so we keep moving on...Row row row your boat Gently down the stream, Merrily merrily merrily Life is but a dream...

From the heart

Artist: Chu-Yi Huang

This was a fun impression one of the dancers from the group piece did from a photograph of our dance. It is a black and white photograph with a very similar formation and positioning but my dancer painted it with colours, the colours of her imagination, different to what is the actual costume colour. It made me happy to see the freedom and flow of creativity from painting to dance and dance to painting. Beauty captivates.

Mysteries

I'm getting deeper into it...I love watching and learning, doing and being...it is a great experience. I think I wouldn't trade the opportunity I currently have for anything in the world. I had a definitive sense of conviction that I am in the right place at the right time. It was a powerful moment in class last week, when my teacher was demonstrationg something to his sophomore students and it was like a light-revelation( I'm coining that term, because that's what I saw and that's what it felt like.) It made me realize how much more is available to me and how much more I can have access to as a choreographer and artist if I seek the deeper treasures of this great big ocean. I am in wonderment and awe as I journey onward.

Research is progressing well and I find 'walking into walls' happens to everyone. But it's in the increasing ease of finding the doors and knowing the right keys to unlock them that brilliance is revealed. I look forward to witnessing more of this next week. I just had the thought, I feel like I need to expand my descriptive vocabulary in academic work...fun...I am happy to grow. The solo dance broke into something very neat on our last day. Neat because it was wild. We ran out of music to what was choreographed and so I started singing spontaneously(in the way my free spirit does) and the dancer continued from that breath in his spirit. This gave me abundant joy to watch and capture on video. The dance has definitely taken flight into a new direction. We have our second showing next week with Ming and I'm keen to see his response to our delightful discoveries. He will push us into the something better no doubt, it is his favourable ability to accomplish this to advantage. I am a happy advisee. I might also add a technique class to my schedule this semester. Smiles.

'Dream Realms' Advisory Committee

Photography by Grace Chiang and Jia-Wei

I have an excellant panel working with me to see this production is ready for it's public performance next year. Introducing my professors informally is Ping, Chifang, Yaping and my thesis advisor Yatin and Ming my choreography advisor. A friend said wisdom and creativity are the perfect match for brilliance in the arts. I hope I can apply what their years of experience and wisdom can impart to bring a high level of excellance into my artistic expression. The second semester of rehearsing pulls us into the further to go place of journeying.

Capturing beauty...

Art Photography by Grace Chiang and Jia-wei

~es muy interesante

Week One. Two rehearsals, three research sit-ins completed. Good news is that my dancers are invited to join me watching Ming's rehearsal. It is a fun opportunity and I hope they watch with the same curiousity I do, soaking in from the atmosphere the knowledge of years of experience. I have moments of watching a master craftsman at work and I am in perfect delight at seeing little connections happen so easily, effortlessly finding beauty from nothingness.

My young dancer is braving the challenge of his very first solo and a 'not easy' dance. He is breaking into the dance so to speak, a raw four and half minutes outlined. I'm working hard to give him as much input as possible, so that from the very beginning he starts thinking and is concious about quality, timing and presence. I don't want emotion in the dances, but I do want presence. It has to come from your spirit, a deeper place than your soul. For many this is hidden away, shelved. Coming alive from the inside out is what I want. It is painstaking work trying to coach him, but I do it from love...the deep passion inside me that won't let me give up.

Tomorrow I get official photos of the rehearsals and showing, it's going to fun to look at and I will upload some. Next week at Ming's sophomore composition class we get to show our first efforts at rehearsing the solo. Translation on many levels is crucial...it really helps that this dancer is more fluent in English, and I've found more kinesthetic ways to express my own ideas choreographically...defining to the finest detail helps clarify for the dancer enormously. I think if my dancers and I are thinking on the same wavelength than giving them freedom in choosing/creating can work, but given that there is still such a huge gap I have to constantly guide and shape with great care. Heartache invoved, but we're climbing the mountain.

~So much more

Research. One of the great things about this extended time to work on dance is I get to do choreographic research. It's something I wanted to include in my thesis and which I tried to figure out with my thesis adviser, Yatin, for a while. I showed her all kinds of possible ways to include what would have been more of an academic study. We finally agreed that it didn't really fit in as relevant to what I was creating in this production. However now with things evolving I get to sit in on rehearsals for a new piece being choreographed by artistic adviser Ming, for the school concert.

It is fascinating and intriguing for me to watch a piece being made, and to watch it's progress over time. I have not had much exposure to professional or company dance life and so this really feels like a rare and valuable opportunity. The focus of the study is analysing methods of coaching the dancers in different aspects so they 'wear the dance well'...speaking metaphorically with the dance being a beautiful dress, well-fitted, becoming, bringing out the right tone, colour and personality. I really enjoy doing research and writing about it gives me great pleasure. My thesis gets to be written over double the time, so I believe this will develop into something of very rich content.

I'm looking at the paintings for this dance project...The 'Butterfly wing' had a creative process that was powerful...I remember making it, hitting the brush several times over with a force I almost did not control...it has beautiful texture...and quite the unusal blend of colours...it definitely carries a powerful sense of freedom, without the defined lines of structure...I wish I could carry that over into dance...I wish I could bring out the power in movement that comes from deep inside and is not dependent on physical energy...my exasperation right now in an 'aaaahhhhh'...still searching for answers. I start rehearsal with a new dancer doing the solo on Wednesday. Shalom to our creative exploits. Wanting more...

More of a blog now...

Writing to peruse. Writing to clarify. This blog will feel more like a blog now that I have time to update more often and I need a platform to process. My choreography goals have deepened so much more than when I first started...the time and effort it will take to complete this, really shifts the focus from doing a graduate concert to actually expressing myself as an artist and choreographer, being me, in the new transformed way I want to create dances. I continue in this project because of love and passion for what I do, and an eagerness to learn...if it was about the degree I would have probably approached things quite differently. So walking with me, you get to see more of reality and less of the facade that a promotion blog holds...you get to dig your fingers in with me, as I carve and choose and make art shaped from visceral realities. What if dancers were thinking for themselves, where giving abstraction could powerfully connect to inner beings realeasing in outward expression, not from a percieved consciousness but from hidden awareness, a potential still yet so deep it is unreached, untapped...I am certain it exists and I am certain it can be released powerfully...I just don't want to do things in the known and conventional way, though I respect and value what exists...it is something of the natural rawness and wildness that excites me...but I need to find the key. Discovery beckons me.

'Dream Realms' Pizza party

Photography: Jacqueline Darling Ifield

This is a picture with my choreography adviser Ming at our long overdue but truly fun Pizza party. I love that my adviser has committed to seeing us through to this journey's end. Time. Beautiful. I won't forget his very relaxed tone at the committee meeting, while talking about the kind of work I want to do and the level I need to take the dancers to...'It takes time, it could be a semester, it could be a year...' Time to breathe while we create and dance and grow.

Thank you Ming for guiding us through this adventure...there may be hard days, but it's also going to be full of fun. Smiles, the pizza was really good.

Work-In-Pro(gr)cess...

Photography by Chiu-yi Chiang,

From the Album: 'Rehearse is what we do'

Fun and work as we headed up to the showing on 2/25. Smiles I'm glad for every day of journeying together. A process of unravelling and revelation that we will never forget.